The ad, as posted on RetroRides on 3rd September 2013.
R-Reg Passat TDi £250 Cotswolds
Does anybody want my parts chaser before I scrap it?
R-reg Passat 1.9TDi
It’s a beast – dings on every panel, drips a bit of oil/coolant (we’re talking a top up every 1000-1500 miles), and is generally a bit of a shed, headlights are rated in candle power. 1 candle power to be exact, due to foggy lenses.
I’ve had it 2 years, from 213k miles to the 240k it’s on now. Always started, never died, been a brilliant car.
Will do 50mpg all day long average (higher if sticking to 70 on the motorway) on diesel, veg oil, engine oil, and probably milk. Has a tow bar with working electrics, unworn seats. Have used it to pick up two engines, and towed two trailers to pick up chassis on. Goes, stops and turns fine.
11 months MOT.
Tax will be sold at face value (currently about 8 months left I think) otherwise I’ll cash it in.
It’s had: new front brake discs and genuine pads in the last 10k miles, new original (bilstein OEM) rear shocks, one new lower suspension arm, two genuine drop links, covers and top mounts, had a Bosch refurbished IP pump at 212k miles before I bought it (£500 under AA cover ouch!).
Thought I’d offer it here in case someone wants it for parts chasing or a banger rally before the scrap man takes it away.
I can see you’re tempted. So I think it would be a dishonour for me not to fuel further temptation..
Reasons why this is better than the 500hp Range Rover I’ve been driving:
1) PERFECT London car. Driving – people move out of your way (granted, through fear of your fearlessness and panel condition, rather than admiration. Means to an end and all that)
2) Parking – you can move people out of the way. Handy when you’ve been blocked in by some donkey who hasn’t noticed that the car he blocked in has a slightly different shade of silver door. I like to think of it as an accent door. Watch Grand Designs, accent panels are all the rage.
3) Taxis think you are one. Heck, you can even be one. Make some money.
4) The boot has a boot liner. It’s watertight (the liner, not the boot). Carry muddy boots, bodies, roadkill etc.
5) Remote central locking works (£145 bill from VW dealer for a new key). To be fair, the only reason it didn’t work on the Range Rover is that it was a much abused prototype, but a cheater’s win is still a win. 5-0 the score so far.
6) It has a license revocation protection device – good luck getting it over 100mph.
7) Sunroof. It works. Opens, closes, and is watertight, but leaks if you forget to close it when you park up at the gym before a thunderstorm.
8) NO WARNING LIGHTS. And no, it’s not because they don’t work. It’s VW, they’d have a warning light for the warning light bulbs failing.
9) Cam belt was done around 210k miles, 3 years ago. The Range Rover doesn’t even HAVE a cambelt. Rip-off.
10) Depreciation. It can only appreciate – think of it as an investment, just don’t consult an accountant… I purchased this car for £310 off the wonderful plebay. That was with with rough starting (IP timing needed resetting), and a door that was the same colour, but had a dent feature that was a 1:1 scale recreation of the grand canyon. £50 depreciation over 2 years, total servicing with replacement parts <£400. I think a headrest for the AB Range Rover costs more than the passat AND all of its maintenance over the past two years.
A clear victory, I think we can all agree
This is how it looked a few weeks ago. Exactly the same as it looks today, except it’s now a bit dirtier as God’s carwash hasn’t exactly been operating much lately in this drought.. Bikes, carriers, tent and ex-gf (in the tent) not included.
This is how it looks most of the time. Leaves not included, but the fancy original VW trims from the 1st picture certainly are. Your neighbours will appreciate this, trust me. Apparently the black steel wheels look is not very Costwold-y…
This is the engine. It has one. In fact it also has a turbo for pub points, but selective amnesia at the pub is recommended when asked about the power output, as it is in fact the sensible man’s choice. 90hp. In a time when bankers and extravagance are frowned upon by the masses, the alternative 110hp would just be unacceptable decadence.
Finally, this is what it could look like. When washed. Not by God’s rainwater, but by hand of man with sponge. I think.. It’s been a couple of years…
Oh, almost forgot to say! 238k miles is the average distance to the moon, so if it’s a deal breaker, I can make up an official “Been to the moon” badge/sticker that can come with the car.
Also, after the shiny bit fell off it on the M40, the driver’s rear view mirror only works at night on an unlit road with nothing behind you. Perfect replacement mirror comes with the car – suggest you fit it if you want to be able to see where you’ve been.
This car sold to the first person who viewed it, with no haggling, after a wave of offers to buy it sight-unseen within 48 hours of posting the ad.